Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
