Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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