I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You were trust falling into bushes
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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