you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
