OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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