He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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