sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
