I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
