I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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