New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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