Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
