there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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