Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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