Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
