White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
