and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
