haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
