On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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