guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
