I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
