Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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