i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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