There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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