That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
