Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
