Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
