Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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