Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
