you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
