I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
