If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm both gender and math confused
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
