why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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