i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
