I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
