I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
