Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I'm passing your future prison.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
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