Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
