when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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