Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
