You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
