capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
