Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
