i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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