stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
