I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Randomize
