So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
this will be a night to untag.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
