I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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