We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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