Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
