if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
