This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize