Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
