I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
