he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
