dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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