i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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