Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize